I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
