Me. At least after what I've been through.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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