My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize