Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
