Rock
Scissors
Fuck
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
