She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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