I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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