does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You had me at "let me see your balls"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize