And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
