oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
