Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
