STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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