After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I think a kid would responsible me up
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize