Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
tell me about the fingering
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