Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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