Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
