we made out on top of his cat.
I looked at my own cervix.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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