i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize