You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
