You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
