just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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