You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I don't think brook has ever known best
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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