That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
