i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
