LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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