we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Randomize
