His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
