I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
