we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
