I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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