Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
