HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
