Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My dick has a subreddit
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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