is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
