He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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