I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
