i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
