yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Farmville is her only friend.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
