Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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