the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
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