I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
