I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
