so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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