Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
