Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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