I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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