What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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