I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
