ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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