i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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