is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
