Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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