idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
