FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
