she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
