By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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