Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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