Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
