he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
