Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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