Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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